A Stinging Reminder
Today started out like any of my other days off...I woke up way too early! As I laid there in bed I thought to myself that if it wasn't too hot, I would catch up on some things I've been putting off that had to get done around the house.
The first thing I did was change the filter for the pool pump. As I was hooking the hoses back up I noticed that the hoses were literally disintegrating, and couldn't be used. So I left that project until I could get some new hose.
The next thing I did was start to cut the grass. Once I was half way through, my lawn mower sputtered to a stop, out of gas. Since I had no car, I had to wait until Kary got home from work before I could go for some.
Having started 2 and having 2 unfinished, I figured 3 would be the charm, so I started the next thing on the list.
I have patio doors off my bedroom and the deck that supposed to be there is laying on its side beneath the doors. The deck has been there since we laid new drain tiles around the house last summer. We have just been putting off getting the deck setup since. I thought today would be a good day to get it started and ready for when my brother in law came home, so he could help me set it up.
As I stood there making a mental note of the steps I had to go through and what I would need in the way of tools, I suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain on my chin.
That pain was followed by another on my ankle, and one on my shoulder blade. It took less than 1.3 milliseconds to realize I was under attack by a swarm of wasps.
I took less time than that to get my feet moving and my hat swatting at anything that moved! I came around from the side of the house at breakneck speed, running for all I was worth and swatting wasps as they circled my head. These wasps were not interested in just getting me away from their nest, they wanted to teach me a lesson and make sure I don't ever come back! I invaded their space and since they laid claim to it they intended on keeping it. At that point in time I was not going to argue with them!
As I ran across the front of my house, my feet just a blur, (you would have had to have a high speed camera to see my legs moving) followed by a swarm of wasps intent on teaching me a lesson and a cloud of dust and grass kicked up by feet just barely touching the ground as I accelerated.
Ahead of me was a pile of crushed rock which stood about 4 ft. tall, in my hopes of self preservation I ran over top of the pile, rather than going around. On my way back down the other side, the top half of my body got ahead of my bottom half and I found myself staring at the ground coming up to meet me face to face. As I went into the tuck and roll maneuver, I could feel another sharp pain on my butt, undoubtedly another sting.
Having rolled 2 times head over heels, I sprung right back to my feet, which I'm sure never stopped running during the tuck and roll maneuver, climbed the 8 steps it takes to get up on our other deck in 2 leaps,and into the house where I thought i would be safe.
Once inside, I thought I would put some cold water on my stings, so I went into the bathroom turned the tap on and looked down straight into the eyes of another wasp! After another 5 seconds of sheer panic it was dead!
The tally...5 stings, several bruises, scratches and gouges on my knee and elbow, a twisted knee, and 1 dead wasp...oh ya and 1 bruised ego!
After millions of years of evolution, its quite remarkable how the "fight or flight" response is still hard wired into the brain. In a way I'm glad it is.
The first thing I did was change the filter for the pool pump. As I was hooking the hoses back up I noticed that the hoses were literally disintegrating, and couldn't be used. So I left that project until I could get some new hose.
The next thing I did was start to cut the grass. Once I was half way through, my lawn mower sputtered to a stop, out of gas. Since I had no car, I had to wait until Kary got home from work before I could go for some.
Having started 2 and having 2 unfinished, I figured 3 would be the charm, so I started the next thing on the list.
I have patio doors off my bedroom and the deck that supposed to be there is laying on its side beneath the doors. The deck has been there since we laid new drain tiles around the house last summer. We have just been putting off getting the deck setup since. I thought today would be a good day to get it started and ready for when my brother in law came home, so he could help me set it up.
As I stood there making a mental note of the steps I had to go through and what I would need in the way of tools, I suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain on my chin.
That pain was followed by another on my ankle, and one on my shoulder blade. It took less than 1.3 milliseconds to realize I was under attack by a swarm of wasps.
I took less time than that to get my feet moving and my hat swatting at anything that moved! I came around from the side of the house at breakneck speed, running for all I was worth and swatting wasps as they circled my head. These wasps were not interested in just getting me away from their nest, they wanted to teach me a lesson and make sure I don't ever come back! I invaded their space and since they laid claim to it they intended on keeping it. At that point in time I was not going to argue with them!
As I ran across the front of my house, my feet just a blur, (you would have had to have a high speed camera to see my legs moving) followed by a swarm of wasps intent on teaching me a lesson and a cloud of dust and grass kicked up by feet just barely touching the ground as I accelerated.
Ahead of me was a pile of crushed rock which stood about 4 ft. tall, in my hopes of self preservation I ran over top of the pile, rather than going around. On my way back down the other side, the top half of my body got ahead of my bottom half and I found myself staring at the ground coming up to meet me face to face. As I went into the tuck and roll maneuver, I could feel another sharp pain on my butt, undoubtedly another sting.
Having rolled 2 times head over heels, I sprung right back to my feet, which I'm sure never stopped running during the tuck and roll maneuver, climbed the 8 steps it takes to get up on our other deck in 2 leaps,and into the house where I thought i would be safe.
Once inside, I thought I would put some cold water on my stings, so I went into the bathroom turned the tap on and looked down straight into the eyes of another wasp! After another 5 seconds of sheer panic it was dead!
The tally...5 stings, several bruises, scratches and gouges on my knee and elbow, a twisted knee, and 1 dead wasp...oh ya and 1 bruised ego!
After millions of years of evolution, its quite remarkable how the "fight or flight" response is still hard wired into the brain. In a way I'm glad it is.
posted by F.B. Cabby at 12:00 AM
6 Comments:
Remarkable. A wasp seems to have this power to panic people way out of proportion to its actual armament. Sort of like the Jihadist terrorists of the insect world.
WHOA...that's deep Stag!
I am really sorry when I say this, but you had me laughing from start to finish.
Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but that was just too funny the way you wrote the visual for the reader.
Sounds like you have a nest to take care of huh?
*Still wiping tears from eyes from laughing so hard*
You never lead a dull life do ya Mike ?
If you thought because you are small you can't make a difference.
Try sharing a tent with a mosketo.
There's something about a wasp that just says "evil". I don't feel the same way about bees. Hope you're all mended up.
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